In Retrospect: Part One

 

To start, let me take you back to just last week.

 

Something happened last week that can best be described as entirely Laithe’s fault unfortunate.

 

Back in Perth we emptied out the van so Laithe could go nuts with the silicone & seal up all the cracks where the dust comes in.

He put a few screws here & there to hold things in place while the sealant dried.

 

He left the screws insitu.

 

So when we left Carnarvon the cupboards were stocked up & very full.

 

I’d managed to score myself some little treats, one being a certain bottle of Ginger Ale (I can’t tell you how sick of water & hideous long life milk I am! We hadn’t even had juice for ages either).

 

We headed off, down a not-so-beaten-track, to spend a couple of days here…

Warroora Station (pronounced Warra)- Photos on Facebook

 

We camped on the beach at 14 Mile.

The scenery was spectacular.

 

Until I got inside the van.

 

It’s always a little bit exciting opening the van back up after we’ve been “off road”. Despite our best efforts, you never really know what you’ll find… or where you’ll find it.

 

This time when I got in there I found we’d made some sort of industrial strength grout (or a really great scone batter) with my bottle of Ginger Ale & some flour.

 

10 kilos of flour.

 

In the bedside cupboard.

 

It looked a bit like this…

 

One of the screws Laithe had left in the cupboard had pierced my beloved Ale bottle &, on the corrugated road, it had fizzed & sprayed.

 

Everywhere.

 

Then it started to leak out from under the cupboard, run down the side of the bed & onto the floor mats.

 

What you can’t see in the picture is how nicely it was, sort of, baked on to the wheel arch because of the heat.

 

What you also can’t see is that I had to use salt water to clean everything off. You have to carry your own water into most places up here because there’s no fresh water supply & we needed every last drop for drinking & cooking & washing stinky bodies & such before bed.

 

So I managed to salvage a lot of the flour after sifting through with my fingers to remove the doughy dags that had formed here & there. Everything else was sort of cleaned & left with a nice sticky/salty residue.

 

And maybe some seaweed glued on here & there.

 

It’s not the first time this sort of shit has happened.

 

Last time it was 2 kilos of sugar.

 

The resident ants that have decided to nest SOMEWHERE in this bloody van just about shit themselves with excitement.

 

I’m sure they were kicking back, in a wall cavity or light fitting somewhere, thinking “would you just LOOK at these arseholes! Amateurs.You NEVER leave it in the bag! Can somebody get them some Tupperware or something?!”

 

(#Note- The sugar incident? Also entirely Laithe’s fault unfortunate.)

 

 

Remember when I said “There is no toilet to clean”?

 

Well, at Waroora Station, you not only have to bring your own fresh water, you have to take your own Chemical Toilet with you as well.

 

We were aware of this & reluctantly purchased an uncomfortable little beauty back in Perth.

 

It had stayed in the box, unused, for at least 2 months because we hadn’t finished arguing about who’s job it would be to empty it.

 

Given that I am a nurse, Laithe believes I have a “degree in Poo” & all things poo related.

 

I disagree.

 

There are many downsides to carrying your own toilet, in my opinion, but the main benefit has to be location, location, location. One day I’m pooing to Cyndi Lauper in Carnarvon & the next night I’m on a pristine beach, under a sea of stars so clear & bright, listening to the waves gently lap at the shore.

 

There were shooting stars all around me, & it wasn’t just a lack of fibre.

If only I’d taken a picture for you.

  

All arguments aside, someone had to empty the toilet. And seeing as Laithe’s the one that fills it up the most I thought it only fair that he be the one to do the job (no pun intended).

 

I was just there for moral support… with the camera. In case he got shit in his mouth.

Luckily for Laithe it was incident free at the dump point & the newly christened toilet was cleaned & put back in it’s box. For as long as possible. I didn’t have to touch a thing.

 

Back on the road & with the toilet safely stored we passed this…

 

…and ended up here…

Floating on Ningaloo Reef, Coral Bay

 

…but that’s a story for another day.