We don't call him "Pooey" for nothing.

So this Christmas we had our first taste of what it might be like to travel with our kids...

Surprisingly, a lot less painful than expected.

They mostly did this...

 

We managed the 1700 odd kilometers from Cairns to Brisbane with a 4yo and a 16 month old in TWO DAYS! This was no mean feat considering The Sparky has a thimble-sized bladder and wees more often than the kids. I, on the other hand, am a Nurse. Give me 8 cups of tea and a corrugated road and I still wouldn't need to stop for 12 hours.

We had a top time in Brissy with The Sparkys side of the family. Considering there were 6 "adults" and 4 kids staying in the SIL's smallish house there were barely any arguments (that weren't our own) and the only ones that came to blows were the toddlers.

No alcohol fuelled arguments.
No unscheduled trips to the emergency department.
No festive food poisoning. Thank God. (There was only one toilet).
There were, however, a few Roads and Traffic induced anxiety attacks on my part. Driving in Brisbane city (and beyond) is currently shithouse!

Anyway, we left the SILs place and headed north again for a family trip to Fraser Island.
'Twas grand. Though I'm not sure who's bright idea it was to take a 16 month old to the world's largest "sand island". I'll let you know in a few weeks after he's shat me out a string of pearls.

We collected our permits and information booklets and headed for the ferry. We stopped to help past the 3 or 4 cars that were already bogged not 10 meters off the bitumen.

So we're on the island 5 minutes and Miss G pipes up with-
"When we get back to Australia can we go and see the Twelve Apostles?"
This was followed by at least 400 questions over the following 2 hours, all starting with "Da-aaad?"

The Sparky's finger imprints can still be seen on the steering wheel.

Our 8 days were filled with fishing and swimming and sand and sun cream and sand and lakes and rock pools and sand and four wheel driving and air mattresses and sand ON air mattresses and gin and tonics and shitty nappies (with sand in them).

For example:

Sand for miles (most of this ended up in our car)

So bored....
 

Catch of the day

A photo that I'm  ACTUALLY  in!

Rusting Beauty

Lunch!

Just a puppy 

They're pretty hardcore on the Dingo warnings at Fraser, though for me, they didn't need to be. I was already freaking out about them trying to drag my little suckling pig off into the bushes. Our first night there, Dingo put his front paws up on the side of the tent to rest them on the port-a-cot for a good sniff. Because of this, and the fact that you shouldn't leave "food" out for them, we had to seal up all the dirty nappies in a bucket for disposal at the Dump.
How does that saying go again?... 'Off like a bucket of shit in the sun'???

On day 8 we said farewell to the Island mid morning and headed back down the beach to the ferry. Nobody was looking forward to the drive home, least of all Pooey. He was cranky and wriggly and obviously thought we were complete assholes for making him sit in that chair.... AGAIN. Never the less, we made excellent time again on day one managing to get all the way to Rocky by 9pm.
Shower. Bed. SLEEP-IN!

Day two was much the same, only with a little less patience.
Everyone was bitterly disappointed, none more so than me, when we got stuck in the wrong lane on the highway through Townsville and completely missed Hungry Jacks! Son of a BITCH!
It's just about dinner time. Everyone is over it. The squirming and short, shrill shrieks are coming more regularly from Pooey and the next fast food joint is 98kms away!

Fuck.

So we're almost at Ingham. Settling, begrudgingly, for the Golden Arches. The shrieking peaks. Then Miss G says "I can smell poo"...

Oh God! I can SEE poo.

My dilemma
- Do I take the drink bottle Pooey is waving around off him because it has poo on it?
or
- Do I leave it with him, to wave away, because it's keeping his hands occupied?

I do the latter for as long as I can. McDonald's is in sight. I remove the drink bottle. His hand plunges into the seat in frustration and pulls out a plum... Sultana.

PLEASE DON'T EAT THAT!!!

The sultana ummm..., ? thankfully ?, gets flung across the car.
We pull in and are out of the car before it's come to a complete stop. The collateral damage is not that bad but there is only so much you can do with baby wipes.
So Pooey gets his first shower in a car park (from the water tank on the back of the Hilux).
I thank God I decided to by antibacterial soap for once.
Spewing I didn't get a photo.
Our dinner is shite. As expected.
Both kids eventually sleep.
And the rest of our drive home is uneventful, aside from some super sketchy driving that we witnessed.

So all in all, a good trip had. I'm relieved to be home in one piece.
The half tonne of sand has been removed from inside the car. All the holiday crap has been SLOWLY put away. And sultanas will remain OFF the shopping list for a few weeks at least.