And then they jumped into a white car with out-of-state plates

 

 

So THIS is it. (Insert spirit fingers here).

The Cruiser and The Roadster Voyager 2000 2012.

My mode of transportation and my living arrangements for the last few weeks and approximately the next TWO YEARS.

Noice, right? I know.

Shall I give you the tour then?

Please, follow me…

There is front and rear entry ^*giggle* that open onto two rooms with a convenient, and stylish, concertina door separating the bedroom from the living/dining/kitchen/study/play room/entry hall.

There is no toilet to clean.

The children have the luxury bunk beds, while Laithe and I hang off the end enjoy the “queen” sized bed right next to the bunks. There are THREE! squeeze-in robes with plenty of shelf and hanging space, and the bed lifts in two sections for further storage of stuff you’ll somehow manage to go without for the next six months because you don’t want to have to lift the frigin’ bed again to get them out. That bastard is heavy, but there is no toilet to clean.

Coming off the bedroom(s) is the spacious, open plan living/dining/study/play room/entry hall area that overlooks the kitchen to maximise entertaining potential. The kitchen boasts a range of overhead storage facilities that inflict just the right amount of concussion if you happen to forget yourself and turn around too quickly, and there is no toilet to clean.

There are a range of appliances included, such as, an awesome stick blender, slow-cooker, toaster, and fat-arsed kettle. The potato peeler is the sharpest I’ve ever encountered. The sink has the cutest little plug hole for shit to get stuck in the water to escape, and the fridge will hold 4, maybe 5 at a push, bottles of Giesen or one whole meal for a family of four (depending on where your priorities lie). The microwave, when in use, makes an interesting noise that makes you want to slowly back away and cover your nuts.

I’ve been encouraging Laithe to stand as close as possible while he does ALL the microwaving.

Directly opposite the microwave is the fire extinguisher.

There is a roll-out awning that managed to make us look like a couple of twats every the first time we try to put it up.

So that’s it.

Home, slowly suffocating sweet home.

Did I mention there is no toilet to clean?

 

What have I learnt so far?

 

• This caravanning thing? Not as painful as I may have anticipated. So far.

 

• The best thing about living in a caravan is that it takes about 3.4 seconds to clean the entire house.

 

• The worst thing about living in a caravan is that it takes about 1.8 seconds for the family to mess up the entire house.

 

• The oven (and Laithe) make good scones.

 

• Its completely acceptable to sweep the couch. Yeh, you heard me.

 

• I miss vacuuming . It’s an illness, I know.

 

• The only thing harder than making bunk beds properly, is making bunk beds properly in a goddamn caravan. There is no room for hospital corners up in this baby.

 

• Sand is NOBODIES friend! It makes you think it’s all soothing between your toes and then, no matter HOW HARD YOU TRY, it makes its way between your sheets and pisses you off ALL NIGHT!                                                                                                                                                               Not all that unlike my husband, I guess…